A Little-Known Secret to Creating a Life You Love
As we navigate this road called “life,” we end up in all kinds of places, some that we like and some that we don’t. What can we do to make sure we end up where we really want to be?
This blog post contains three tips to keep you steadily on the path to all that you truly want and reveals a little-known secret to get you there faster! The sure-fire route that takes you there may be surprising, as it is an emotional journey!
Tip #1
Go for the Gold!
You’ve probably heard the expression, “there’s gold in them thar hills.” There’s another important kind of gold to go after. There’s gold in them thar emotions!
Over the years, I’ve come to truly understand how paying attention to our emotions and following the wisdom contained therein is the holy grail for living our best lives possible. This is a very bold statement, for sure, but not an exaggeration.
I find the Abraham Hick’s Emotional Guidance Scale (pictured below) a valuable tool for understanding and discussing emotions. Emotions at the top of the scale indicate we’re in our greatest state of connection to our highest and most authentic selves, while emotions at the lower end of the scale indicate that we’re in our greatest state of disconnection.
As we navigate day-to-day life, we move all over this scale, depending on the topic on which we are focused. For example, we’ve all had the experience of being happy and content one moment but discouraged the next. An important observation to make is: where we are on the scale is, many times, dictated by what we are observing in the world around us.
As a first step in finding the “gold in them thar emotions,” it’s important to understand and acknowledge exactly how you are feeling in any given moment. Be honest with yourself about this, as your emotions don’t lie. It’s not “how you want to feel,” but “how you REALLY feel.”
As a second step, notice where you “hang out” or “trend” on the emotional scale. You’ll likely find that you can be “all over the board,” sometimes hovering around the good-feeling emotions, while sometimes hovering around the less-good-feeling ones. But once you start paying attention to how you feel on an hour-by-hour basis, you’ll find that – more often than not – you gravitate to your “usual” places on the scale.
You’ll also probably notice that where you trend on the scale changes (somewhat or a lot) when the topic changes. As an example, when you’re focusing on your job, you may notice that you mostly trend around #10, frustration, but when it comes to your friends and personal life, you may mostly trend at #7, contentment.
So Tip #1 is to pay attention to your emotions and determine where you trend.
Tip #2
There’s no such thing as bad Gold!
Remember that emotions are your gold. Wherever you are on the scale – wherever you’re trending – is okay! All emotions are equally valuable and important. We have a tendency to want to ignore or do whatever we can to avoid the negative-feeling ones, because innately we just prefer to feel good. But each emotion on the scale is equal in terms of its usefulness to us.
It doesn’t necessarily serve us to distinguish some emotions as good and some as bad. Those emotions on the lower half of the Emotional Guidance Scale (#8 and below) can make you feel bad, for sure. But all the emotions are absolute gold in terms of providing guidance as to how you are doing in the moment, i.e., are you moving towards what the highest part of you wants or away from it.
So in addition to noticing the emotions you’re feeling, it’s important to befriend and welcome them all for the guidance they provide, even the not-so-good feeling ones.
It’s critically important to not beat yourself up when you realize that you’re feeling negative emotion. Instead, when you notice that you’re feeling any of the emotions at #8 or below, acknowledge that you have a perfectly working emotional guidance system that is giving you spot-on advice, and congratulate yourself for cultivating the very valuable skill of self-awareness. Research shows that when you see yourself clearly (have high self-awareness), you are more confident and creative, make sounder decisions, communicate more effectively, and build stronger relationships.
To summarize, Tip #2 is to befriend and welcome all of your emotions.
Tip #3
Create more of the Gold that you want!
Once you have the benefit of the guidance coming from your emotions, you’re ideally poised to consciously create what you want.
First, let’s acknowledge that how you feel REALLY MATTERS, because it equals your point of attraction. If you are familiar with the Law of Attraction, then you understand that you get more of whatever you’ve got going on vibrationally (the places on the Emotional Guidance Scale where you typically trend).
Being aware of where you usually trend and knowing that many of your not-so-good feeling emotions are likely knee-jerk reactions in response to what you see going on around you, you’ll be positioned to determine if you’re creating your life on purpose or by default.
Most of us are on autopilot, creating our lives by default. In other words, we let what we see going on around us dictate how we feel, and then how we feel just attracts more of the same. Whether what we’re observing makes us happy or unhappy, without realizing it, we’re setting ourselves up for more of that.
Being aware of where you trend and knowing that emotions indicate your state of connection or disconnection to your highest self, you can determine if you like where you are trending or if you want to “up your game.” We all have the ability to do this, by the way. Rather than let the world dictate how we feel (and therefore what we attract), we all have the ability to guide ourselves to a better-feeling state of being and operate from that place of connection.
And there’s another very important reason for managing our emotions. Not only do they let us know how we’re doing in the moment and have attraction power for more of the same, they also fuel our behavior, which then translates to how we show up in the world.
One of the most valuable skills you can develop is the skill of creating the emotions you want to have. And you do that by being more deliberate about what you think about (as all feelings are caused by our thoughts). You know, we’re picky about what we eat and what we wear and what we drive, etc. But we’re not that picky about what we think. Too bad other people can’t see what we think, because then we’d probably be more motivated to clean up our act! 😊
To summarize, Tip #3 is to know how you want to feel and develop the ability to purposefully trend on the levels of your choosing on the Emotional Guidance Scale.
Now, you’re ready for the secret that can make your journey to all that you want much more achievable than you might think!
The little-known Secret?
The things that we would be asking ourselves is,
“What proportion of my day am I in vibrational harmony
with my desires, which means, how much of my day am I
happy, glad, eager, fulfilled, satisfied, complimentary?
And what percentage of my day am I ornery, irritated,
frustrated, or blaming?”
And you don’t have to do 100%,
you don’t have to do 90%,
you don’t have to do 80%.
If you could even get around 55% feeling better,
than not feeling so good —
you’d have significant movement
in what begins to happen in your experience.
Abraham-Hicks
Conclusion
You can guide yourself to anything you want by taking incremental steps to feel better – even if you’re only able to get to feeling better just 55% of the time!
Pick an area of your life that you would like to be better. Pay attention to how you feel about that topic, and notice where you typically trend. (You can get a copy of the Emotional Guidance Scale here, to help you with this exercise.) Aim to trend on the upper portion of the emotional scale (#7 or above) at least 55% of the time by reaching for and practicing better-feeling thoughts.
Helpful hint 1: The thoughts you practice can be about the topic you want to improve or a completely different topic altogether. You can only focus on one topic at a time, so just choose what feels best to you in the moment. What’s important is to entertain thoughts — of any nature — at least 55% of the time that feel good and that lift any heaviness in your being.
Helpful hint 2 (and this is so important!): Know that – even if you’re only able to move up the scale to #7, contentment, and hang out there a little bit more than you hang out at #8 or below – you have firmly put yourself on the path to exactly what your True Self wants!
Tiny little steps you take and practice to genuinely feel better will always bring huge dividends as to what shows up in your world!